This weekend, I found a curious website called somethingstore.com. For $10, they send you something in the mail. Could be anything. But, they are very clear on what it won't be, giving a detailed list of things they absolutely, under no circumstances - not even acts of God, won't send you. Below is just a sampling of things I won't be receiving from the Something Store:
Alcohol
This is a bit of a shame because I'm a lover of most all alcohol, but wine especially. Speaking of which, I found out yesterday that Wal-Mart is selling bottles of decently-rated wine for under $5!!! Save money, drink better.
Body Parts
Well there's a pisser. Oh wait, no it's not. Because according to the website, "body parts" also includes body fluids (as well as stem cells and embryos). So no severed feet or placentas for me. *sigh*
Drugs and drug paraphernalia
Lame, but okay.
Drug test circumvention aids
Okay, jesus, we get it. Just say no.
Endangered or regulated species
This should provide my roommate with at least some temporary relief, as I've been begging her to let me bring an Asiatic Cheetah home. This might have delayed me, but I shan't be deterred. *shakes fist at sky*
Gaming/Gambling
Note: Magic eight balls were not listed in this section. Which means there's still hope, kids.
Miracle cures
No worries. I've got a spiritual healer for that.
Precious materials
Um. I sent you $10. I'm not expecting diamonds, bitches.
Prescription drugs or pharmacies
As someone that shares a name with one of the greatest prescription drug addicts of all time, this one hurt a bit.
Regulated goods
This includes: "Air bags; batteries containing mercury; Freon or similar substances/refrigerants; chemical/industrial solvents; government uniforms; car titles; license plates; police badges and law enforcement equipment; lock-picking devices; medical devices; pesticides; postage meters; recalled items; slot machines; goods regulated by government or other agency specifications; explosives; hazardous materials; personal data protected under applicable data protection laws"
Ha! Postage meters!! Funny.
The rest of the "won't send" list was pretty lame. No cigarettes, radar detectors, brass knuckles, etc. But I appreciate them managing my expectations, nonetheless. Because $10 can buy a lot in this economy. A banana. A gallon of gas. Oh, and two bottles of Wal-Mart wine.
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2 comments:
Hey Liz,
I JUST ordered something. Yep, I just pay pal'd 10.00 bucks and in 7days I will get a present! I wish I would have come up with this idea!
I'll let you know what I get.
m
One of my favorite authors, Chuck Palahniuk, has a cool way of replying to people who send him fan letters. It also helps keep his place uncluttered.
When a fan writes him a letter he responds by putting random things in a box and mailing it back. Anonymously. Could be a wadded up receipt, a stick of gum and a used Odor-Eater. Or a Rolex. He just puts crap in a box and sends it. And the best part is he sends it anonymously. So one day you get a box that looks like your crazy old Aunt Urleen has gone off her meds and decided you MUST HAVE THIS SHIT. And all because you sent somebody a fan letter.
Try it. You might even get back a half empty bottle of $4.99 Wal-Bec.
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