Monday, July 14, 2008

My new addiction.

So I discovered a new show this weekend: Intervention. Yes, I realize it's in its fourth season, but I quit watching A&E when it turned into Real Life. Drama., as I have plenty of that without turning on my television. (Seriously, give me a biography on Nostradamus any day over Gene Simmons and his family jewels.)

My friend Robert used to watch Intervention while stoned and raved about it. While comically ironic, I had dismissed his review as "impaired judgment".

That, friends, was a mistake.

This show is my new favorite thing. It's like an hour-long self esteem boost. I mean, I've got issues; but these folks have ISS-UUUEEEES. And their problems run the gamut, which I appreciate because I have a short attention span and would quickly lose interest if everyone was just addicted to booze. But some of these people are addicted to things (I'm proud to say) I've actually never heard of.

Which brings me to another great thing about this show: I learn things. I now know what DXM is thanks to Ben, the male prostitute with a genius IQ. While I'm not entirely sure I have the patience to methodically tear up lettuce into a million pieces before ingesting, I've nonetheless learned some great dieting tips from Emily, the anorexic. I have also learned driving is a bad idea in general, lest you get caught sharing a road with someone like Brooke, who takes two OxyContin pills, and up to twelve muscle relaxers and twelve Lortab painkillers...a DAY.

I would love to say that watching this show has made me never want to drink again. But as alcoholic Jill reminded me in episode 49, "You're always prettier when you're drunk." And as evidenced below, clearly she's right.

3 comments:

Sir D said...

My favorite is still the heroin-addicted prostitute (can't remember her name)who met her johns in bathhouses, was also an alcoholic, had recently lost custody of her kid AAAAND for the win? Her pimp boyfriend abused her.

Oddly, the less obvious question I kept asking myself was - there are bathhouses in Wisconsin??

hotpinksox said...

My favorite was the bulimic who hid throw up all over her house and her husband didn't smell it. Can you imagine what their house smelled like? Gross.

Anonymous said...

Your feet are huge.