Obviously, I'm trying very hard to update this thing more regularly. One of the reasons I'm doing so is I've learned more than five people actually read this blog. No one ever leaves comments so I've always assumed no one actually read it. Apparently that's not the case.
So for your amusement, I bring you another story from the "this is your brain on drugs" files:
A good friend of mine recently moved into a new apartment. Passing his next door neighbor in the hall he introduced himself. "Hi, I'm your neighbor, John. Nice to meet you," to which she naturally responded, "Hi, I'm Sonya. I run an escort service out of my apartment. And by 'escort service', I mean I, the only escort, fuck men for money not but one foot from the head of your bed through the wall between our apartments."
Understandably, John was a little startled. To help lessen the blow (ha), she went on to explain that sometimes she cooks these men dinner beforehand "to make it more of a date." But sometimes it's "just straight sex if that's all they want." Because this woman was clearly blasted out of her mind, she told John how she came into the business. Apparently she used to dance, and soon began to realize "that all men wanted was my pussy." She then proceeded to point to her crotch and mused, "I'm sittin' on a gold mine, here."
Earlier today, my neighbor Elizabeth invited me over tonight for turkey burgers and sweet potato fries. I was pretty excited about this until I heard John's story. Now I just think my neighbors are lame.
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2 comments:
THIS is fantastic! I'm pretty certain that next time I see you, there will be no hugs, no air kisses, no nice small-talk pleasantries... I will immediately point to my crotch and declare, "I'm sittin' on a gold mine here."
Well, now I know how I can pay for the Carnivale trip to Venice!
But I mean, those were some damn good turkey burgers. So at least you have that going for you.
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