Several friends sent me a link to a contest the other day called "The Big Blush". It was a contest sponsored by Neutrogena and the only thing you had to do was enter an embarrassing story. Lucky for me, my life's embarrassing without even trying. I'm 6' tall, named Liz Taylor, and used to drive a hot dog.
Anyway, I decided to enter a story about a trip to the dermatologist I had a few years ago, because it was beyond apropos. It had nudity, a hot dermatologist, granny panties, smelly feet and TWO skin conditions (weird moles and hives). I plan on winning. Who can beat a mortifying trip to the dermatologist when the contest is sponsored by Neutrogena? No one, that's who. The contest is called "The Big Blush". There's no bigger blush than being covered in hives, that much I know.
I've already started thinking about the press tour. I'll be on the Today show. They'll laugh about my name. I'll talk about my weird moles - "I've been plagued by dysplastic nevi my whole life," I'll explain. The friendly rep from Neutrogena will review the ABCD method for detecting strange moles, and remind people to buy their sunscreen. Of course, I'll mention I wear Neutrogena Ultra Sheer 55 with Helioplex (tm) EVERY day. "And it really is ultra. sheer!" I'll say as I smile at the camera like the Orbit girl.
With that, I'm off to go wash the face that's gonna make me famous. (With Neutrogena products, naturally.)
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