Tales of the absurd.

An actual conversation my roommate and I had this evening en route to an unsuccessful trip to Wal-Mart to buy a goldfish:

Alexandra: "So you see that Goodwill over there? I was at the gas station next to it and noticed they have a sign that actually warned you that if you left things there after hours, your donations would likely be stolen."

Me: "Well, because naturally you'd be upset if things you didn't want anyway were stolen."

"Exactly. Not only that, but you're giving things to people in need. If someone steals a pair of my high heels, clearly they need them. Or at least want to wear them for awhile. Either way, I don't care what they do with them. If they'd like to steal my Hello Kitty alarm clock? Fine with me."

"WHAT? You Goodwill'ed the Hello Kitty alarm clock?"

"Yes."

"And the reason I wasn't conferenced into this decision was...?"

"Well, because I didn't think you'd care. You didn't even notice it was gone. But you could probably buy it back, if you'd like."

"Oh, because I'm gonna just go to the Goodwill and say, 'Hi, I'd like to purchase my roommate's old Hello Kitty alarm clock.'??"

"Yes, and they'll probably say, 'I'm sorry, ma'am. That was stolen.'"